You would think that after all these years I would get it. You'd think I'd understand that having a string of good days does not mean I'm in the clear. But this week was such a GOOD week. I've been just humming along on the last week of our women's Bible study and it has been amazing, both the study and the prayer times I've had. I have felt the presence of God in a very tangible way. And yet, here I am again, wanting to just hole up in my cave, feeling the dark clouds looming over me. What's up with that?
Maybe the point is humility. Maybe the point is to remind me that I am a work in progress. I will never be what I was fully meant to be until the day that I step into Christ's presence. Without this struggle, I'm not sure that I would do a very good job of remembering that. I think I would rest on my successes and not on Christ. I think that I would take joy for granted instead of being grateful for each measure of it that he gives to me. Life would become less about gaining strength and purpose from Christ and more about how wonderfully I was managing my life. I'm pretty sure that at heart I've got my own little battle with pride going on.
So, as a work in progress, I press on. I will rejoice in the good days, and take comfort that on the days that are harder, I am not alone. God, friends, family, church...it's not just me trying to make this journey alone.
"Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you,
your right hand upholds me."
Psalm 63:7,8 (New International Version)