Friday, November 5, 2010

Proverbial

There she goes again
The living embodiment of
that super-woman from Proverbs
Chapter 31
Verses 10 through 31.

Up before dawn
She bakes her own bread,
Makes her own yogurt and feeds her children
A healthy breakfast of hot cereal.

All before a day of homeschooling them.
All six of them.

I'm up before dawn,
but I don't want to be.
And sometimes its because
I just can't sleep.

I send my children off to school
with peanut butter sandwiches.

Every hair is in place and her wardrobe
is impeccable.
And three sizes smaller than mine.
She probably doesn't eat chocolate
when she is stressed.

Does she get stressed?

Her home is a welcome beacon
Shining with polish and decorated
tastefully for each season.
She hosts guests with joy and style.

My home is decorated with dust bunnies
And hosting makes me quake with fear.

Her children rise up and call her blessed.

Mine rise up and yell "You are the meanest mom,
Ever!"

She serves on committees and her name is known
for her generosity.
She always knows the right thing to say.

She opens an Etsy shop to sell
her handmade wares.

I have a knitting project I started almost a year ago,
that's been ripped out four times.
And I almost always put my foot in my mouth.

Proverbs 31.
The words always taste bitter.
More rules,
A standard that weighs me down.

What does the Lord require?
What does the LORD require?

Do justice.
Love mercy.
Walk humbly with your God.

I am a Micah woman.
Chapter 6.
Verse 8.

Chaos

Psalm - a miktam*

Oh God, I have that gnawing "I can't do it all" feeling again.
There's too many things on my plate,
A house to clean, children to take to school,
Work to get done
And grocery shopping.

I'm sinking in the morass of my "To-do" list
and I can't see open skies anywhere.
I want to ditch it all and run,
Run far away.

Meetings and conferences and responsibilities
Are devouring me piece by piece.
And there is no peace.

So I stop, and I cry out to you.
You are my rock of rest.
I lean on you and you surround me.
I WILL take time to praise you,
For you have given me untold blessings
Even in the midst of chaos.

My soul delights in you
Let me run to you and take refuge.
My list is still here
But so are you.
Holding me, walking beside me,
Breathing peace into me.

I will hold on to you,
and I will not forget you in the middle of my chaos.
I will see your love in the faces of my children,
Your hand covering me as a sweep the floor,
Your face in each person I pass today.

I will exalt you today, O Lord,
My peace and my strength.

*In ancient Hebrew word pictures Miktam is composed of mem (chaos), kaf (God's open hand allowing to cover), tav (the cross/covenant/seal), and mem (chaos). So loosely, a miktam could likely mean 'a bringing of our chaos to the One who can bring order from it'. If you want to geek out a little further on ancient Hebrew, Genesis 1:1 presents this same picture of One standing in the midst of chaos to bring order.